Shangrila, My Second Visit to Yunnan
Remember I wrote an article about Tengchong last July? Well, this time I visited another awesome place in Yunnan – Shangrila. Tengchong is to the north of Yunnan, bordered with Myanmar, while Shangrila is to the northwest of Yunnan, about 1,000 kilometres east of Lhasa. It is the capital of Diqing Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture, close to the Myanmar and India borders.
About Shangrila
Shangrila is a town split between Tibetan and Han Chinese residents, as well as a fair smattering of Naxi, Bai, Yi and Lisu, with the surrounding countryside entirely Tibetan. Shangrila used to be called Zhongdian until 2001 when it was renamed after the fictional land of Shangri-La in the 1933 James Hilton‘s novel Lost Horizon, in an effort to promote tourism in the area. It is quite high in altitude (3,300 metres or 11,000 feet) so for some people they may often find themselves out of breath. In fact, you can take a cable car to Shika Snow Mountain, where there are everlasting snows; at 5,000 metres high (16,500 feet) you feel on top of the world!
Old Town
We stayed in a hotel called 藏域桃园in the old town and I highly recommend it. It cost just RMB150 but the rooms are very clean and with internet, plus you can have a view of the largest prayer wheel in Guishan Park from the second floor.
The old town is now rapidly being turned into a mini-Lijiang, complete with endless shophouses selling tourist trinkets (including fake tiger skins and counterfeit North Face jackets). However, there are still plenty of small charming streets to explore. I loved the nightly dancing in the square which begins at 8PM every night. It’s popular for locals of all ages, and anyone is welcome to join in.
Songzanlin Monastery (松赞林寺)
I supposed to meet up with my cousin’s at Shangrila, yet they were in Lijiang the first day. So I decided to visit Songzanlin Monastery myself.
Songzanlin Monastery is on a hill a few kilometers north of town. It is the largest Tibetan Buddhist monastery in Yunnan, one of the famous monasteries in the Kang region. Construction of the monastery began in 1679 and was completed two years later. The temple was restored by an architect named Xu Wei Han in 2005 to reflect its past glories. It is composed of two lamaseries, and hosts 700 monks.
The sky here is so blue and so clear, you feel so close to the heaven. Besides, there are always some eagles flying around the top of the monastery.
In front of the monastery there was a lake. I forgot the name but it was very peaceful walking on the bridge around the lake. I was lucky to meet a group of Tibetan women practicing their dances and singing there.
Padacuo National Park (普达措国家公园)
The second day I joined my cousin’s and we went to visit Pudacuo National Park and it did worth a one day visit!
The park was announced on June 25, 2007, and is notable as the first national park in China to meet International Union for Conservation of Nature standards. The region of this park contains more than 20 percent of the country’s plant species, about one-third of its mammal and bird species and almost 100 endangered species, though it comprises only 0.7 percent of China’s land area. It is notably home to vulnerable Black-necked cranes, many rare and beautiful orchids, and Himalayan Yew, a coniferous tree whose extracts are a source of the anticancer drug, paclitaxel.
We had our picnic near the lake, and it felt so great you know what I mean!
Tiger Leaping Gorge (虎跳峡)
The third day I went to visit the Tiger Leaping Gorge myself as I wanted to do some hiking and it’s not possible to take my little nieces with us.
Tiger Leaping Gorge is a canyon on the Yangtze River – locally called the Golden Sands River (金沙江) – located 60 km north of Lijiang City, It is part of the Three Parallel Rivers of Yunnan Protected Areas World Heritage Site. Around 15 km in length, the gorge is located where the river passes between 5,596 metre Jade Dragon Snow Mountain (玉龙雪山) and 5,396 m Haba Snow Mountain (哈巴雪山) in a series of rapids under steep 2000 metre cliffs. Legend says that in order to escape from a hunter, a tiger jumped across the river at the narrowest point (still 25 metres wide), hence the name.Administratively, the river in this area forms the border between Yulong Naxi Autonomous County of Lijiang City (right bank) and Shangri-La County (left bank).
It is a bit far away from Shangrila yet you can rent a car or take the shuttle bus to Qiaotou. This is about 2 hours and from Qiaotou you can choose to hike or take a cab to the Gorge.
The lower road, stretching about 195 km (121 mi) from Qiaotou through the Gorge, is a stretch of pavement (until recently a simple mule track) crossed by several waterfalls, and frequently beset by rockslides. Some portions of the road have been known to disappear into the river below. The road follows the Yangtze, so there are more views of the river, descends to meet the lower road, you can climb down to the river near the iger Leaping Stone, the point at which the tiger is said to have leaped. My total hiking is about 4 hours and the scenery along is just beautiful.
Shangrila is truly an enchanting place, so much so that I found it really hard to choose which pictures to post here! And here’s the last picture I took of the Shika snow mountain from the airplane!
Cesky Krumlov- a place you must visit
I learned more about Cesky Krumlov when I was back from my trip to Austria and Czech early April this year. After reading sorts of instructions on internet, I can see its long history and importance. Looking at the photos, I can easily recall the happy time I spent there.
After taking 3.5 hour shuttle bus from Prague, we met our nice hostel host who offered to pick us from bus station to the hostel for free. It was a bit late and cold in the evening but nothing can hide the beauty of the old town. Under moonlight, we can see that the Vltava River surrounds the town. Houses with peaked roof are built up closely. Across the Vltava River, the castle stands upright on a mountain. What we can hear is only the sound of the river. All of these made me fell into romantic atmosphere. I could not wait for tomorrow’s coming!
We woke up very early on the second day (hard to achieve if I went to office for work) and spent a whole day to stroll the old town. It is said that the town was created around 1250s. We experienced the historical culture by visiting the castle, St. Vitus’ Church, Main Square and other well-preserved buildings. On the top of the castle which is the second largest in the Czech Republic, we saw spectacular views of the old town: houses with orange and peaked roof are in picturesque disorder. Between the town and castle, there is the impetuous Vltava River. Further behind the town, the rolling hills surrounds the town with the river. Just like the map of the town shows, this is a vivid cartoon world!
You can’t miss out to buy souvenirs in Cesky Krumlov. Although this is only a small town, you can find out many gifts which can stand for the Czech Republic such as wood working decorations, toys, stationeries and sorts of Muppets, crystal, with acceptable prices. My favorite souvenirs are the wood working cartoon characters ‘Mole and his friends’ which brought me back to my childhood and multi color- pencils of a famous brand-KOH-I-NOOR. They were then improved to be the most favorite ones of my friends.
Even you didn’t buy anything in Cesky Krumlov, you would enjoy the enchanted atmosphere in each small shop and museum. Along narrow cobblestone streets, each shop shows visitors their own style but all colorful and lovely. You can spend time tasting every product leisurely.
It is not expensive to enjoy a good meal in Cesky Krumlov. We chose one of the most recommended restaurants near the Main Square- Mastal Restaurant which is very comfortable and low-key style. The food was very delicious and the quantity is really huge! However, the price is only around RMB160 (US$24)! It was the best meal we had in our trip, both for the taste and price!
We left Cesky Krumlov for Salzburg, Austria in the following day. I know we already went around every street of the charming town, but I will be missing all the happy moments I enjoyed here. If you have a chance to visit Czech Republic, don’t miss out to make a plan for Cesky Krumlov!
P.S., If you prefer to experience the leisure atmosphere in Cesky Krumlov, I recommend you to avoid the summit of the travel period, probably before May.
Somewhere I belong
Being back and living in Hong Kong brought me a sense of nostalgia. This is the place where I was born and the place of my roots. Living in the same apartment where my mother grew up, the stories, the history. Hong Kong has always represented as a place to take refuge but at the same time, a place of troublesome. A place to visit family…and a place to really visit family. Everyone had always welcomed me with open arms, but then reality hit me. I don’t belong here.
Visiting and living in a place is completely different. We take our daily chores for granted as simple, mundane tasks. In a foreign country, it can become very exciting, if not intimidating. As those who used to take me around must return to their daily lives, I must venture on my own, dealing with impatient vendors and clueless direction-givers.
Fortunately, I speak the language here and most people understand some English. However, the level of my Cantonese makes a third grader cringe. Those who communicate with me try to keep a straight face while seeing a grown man struggle with his speech. On top of it all, it is quite difficult to meet local women while your vocabulary level is of a grade-schooler (though some did find it endearing, but they are usually not my type). What hurt me the most was when the police stopped me on the street, treated me like a criminal and searched my pockets because I was wearing a pair of flip-flops and not looking the part of the average Hong Konger.
I never thought that would ever happen here in the city where I was born. It was natural when I first arrived in New York, when the other children ridicule my English or my sense of style; it felt normal because I was a foreigner. But after twenty years of calling it home, I don’t know any other place better than New York. I had my favorite pizza place and my favorite toilet in Grand Central Station. I have ordered from the same Thai food restaurant so often that the owner told me to try another dish besides the Chicken Pad Thai. New York is a bit different from any other place. New York is a revolving door for those looking for a new life or new career. Your chance of meeting someone who was born and raised there is lower than the chance of getting into an accident while riding a yellow taxi cab. The city embraced each and everyone. I felt accepted, but I did not have any problem leaving it behind.
Belonging is more a state of mind. A place can not accept you. A language does not limit you. As we seek a place we belong, we are seeking comfort and familiarity and a place where we feel the most confident at being ourselves. Such place only exists when we allow it to happen. We must allow ourselves to laid down our walls and let those around us to enrich us and embrace us. We can only feel the sense of belonging when we accept others to be part of our lives. I seek to belong in this familiar but strange place once again. During my time here, I look forward to highlight some of the idiosyncrasies that had eluded the locals as commonplace. Maybe some of you will find it as humorous as I have.
2011,勇猛精进!
我几乎很少会写这么personal的blog.不过今天有感而发，要写一个！2011的春节又很快要到了，心情一点也不轻松，反而好紧张！估计很多人在这个时候都会感叹光阴似箭、岁月蹉跎，总结的总结，展望的展望。所以要将这篇看到的精华与大家分享，尤其是跟众多女朋友们，希望大家在2011都能够勇猛精进！
关于外表
l 豆腐西施除了美之外，豆腐好吃也是必备的条件——光只是扮娇憨，还真过不了一辈子。
l 皮囊是饵，只为引向更丰醇的内在。内涵需要载体和平台，得表达、得传播。作为女性，得给以人探究和挖掘的希望。一味埋怨别人不看自己的内涵，不如重新自我审视呈现的形式。没有形式的内涵，内涵也将落空。
l 保持你的面容和身材在穿最简单的白T恤和蓝色仔裤的时候就是好看的，然后你其实可以随便穿。
l 一辈子过得是个心情，心情必须靠自我心智调节。倘若是脑子糊涂，人长得再美，真有事儿来了还是得急哭。同样是哭，长得美的好处在于哭的时候有多几个肩膀可以依偎，其中一个肩膀看不下去了难免帮一把、送一程。问题是人生是一程接着一程，绝大部分旅程得靠自己想明白、拿主意。
关于做事
l 当你已知自己的方法至少科学而逻辑时，要相信和坚持。当别人的做事方法和有悖逻辑时，他是奇才的可能性是有的，但是很低。
l 把他要的给他，他觉得是应该的；把他想要但没说出来的也给他，他会满足；给他意料之外的，他才会惊喜。
l 我们的人生不是在与别人面对面的下棋，因为棋盘的信息是充分的；通常我们都不知道是与谁在博弈，因为我们看不清信息的真正形势。
l 不想当将军的士兵不是好士兵。天生我材，纵然有人一辈子只能在金字塔底做简单劳动，也都是自己选择的。你所拥有的，你值得拥有。
l 努力做好眼前事，然后平静等待一切发生。
l 对于信仰，宁可信其有。因为如果不信，将一无所有。有一个目标，才谈得上实现，人有方向，才得以到达。
l 仅靠聪明的人能获得一时的成功，仅此而己；整个人生物质与心灵的成功，要靠大的分寸感。
l 做一个典型的实用主义者，但凡道理，总要装进自己可以理解的事物中去印证、去应用，这道理才算正式融入了自己的体系。
l 不妨先搞成那个样子，然后架子端起来不好好学习也不好意思，于是勇猛精进。
l 每一个回合必胜和长胜不败的根本是什么呢？是坚持在自己的能力边界内做事，人贵在自知之明。
l 在对自我能力认识不清的时候，想要必胜，一定要低估自己的能力。
l 欲望总是无穷，认清自己的能力，在边界线上知足，才是最难最难，所谓苦海无边，回头是岸。岸，就是能力的极限啊。
关于情感
l 相信你的Mr. Right一定会来，更要相信自己的福祉和运气—无论Mr. Right早来和晚来，你是因自身快乐和饱满的。他并不是来拯救你，因为你不需要拯救。他是在你去往圆满之路上的一个同行者，一个共同体验的伙伴。
l 打扮漂亮，走出去，站在那里，自然的微笑与交谈。让他看见你，让他有生之年都将铭记遇到你的那一刻。
l 你们相爱是因为和谐，和谐的前提是相似。你必须善良、快乐、坚韧又令人喜爱，他才可能积极、阳光、强悍又充满柔情。
l 先假定，家人所有的性格特征都是客观的无法改变的，然后再过日子，尤其是对配偶—本来也都是你自己选择的，要自己去承担。
l 一辈子应该无限责任的就那么几个人，其他都是有限责任。人们常常一不留神卷入别人的故事，一个人不要轻易的走进别人的故事，一旦走进了就要承担。还是要先把自己的事情处理好，不要活得很八卦。
l 明知应该离开某个人而迟迟没有离开，等到终于离开时，江湖已经不是你当年那个江湖了。教训当然是宝贵的，问题是已经得到教训了为什么不马上走呢，害得后面那几年都白白浪费掉，本来人生还可以有很多可能性的。
l 因为感情原因而没有选择你理想的城市和职业。你的人生是你自己的所有财富，而不是用来点缀和奉送给别人的。你不是不可以为着他的原因选择或者放弃什么，但那应该是你心甘情愿的爱的表达，而不是要挟的筹码。一旦选了，你也要为此付出代价，赔赚都是有可能的，愿赌服输就好。
l 该及早分手的时候没有分手，直至结婚；该及早离婚的时候没有离婚，直至生了孩子。人生很多时候就是几个转折点的事，在一个节点上没走好，就会错上加错，直到无法挽回。千万要培养自己的决策力，因为决策力决定命运。
l 在深思熟虑之后，敢于果断做决定，才意味着真正意义上的心思细腻。这标志着该女人有能力去粗取精，抽丝剥茧的把问题想清楚，而不是感性化的纠结于一时一事。
l 大家都吃五谷杂粮，于情每个人都有不舍与伤心，于理却不是每一个人都想的明白。在情绪低落和痛苦的时候仍然能做出正确决定，才是一个人情商与智商都高的体现，这样的人无论做人与做事，都会成熟很多，也成功很多。
关于形而上
l 人心遇万物，要感知，要总结，否则经历了一切等于错过了一切，经历了一生等于错过了一生。
l 把自己活成一个有型的人，而不是活成一堆肉，活成一堆混乱不堪的情绪。
l 不用被大词儿震慑，不要矫情玩味，真正的智慧是简单而朴素的人生态度。谁要矫情，智慧一出，一锤子把你钉死在朴素的生活上。
l 所有的语言都有节奏，语言节奏会浸透在肌肉纤维里，改变人的肉身，因此说不同语言的人身体节奏便不一样，正如世界杯操葡萄牙语系和西班牙语系各队有着舞蹈般风格。注意我们的语言节奏，因为语言会上身。
l 研读文本,修炼修辞术、语言的穿透力以及用词的准确度。当别人的话语混沌不清，让你的话语犹如黑暗中的手电筒。
l 明天我们将不理解今天的执着，就像今天的我们不再理解儿童时代为何执着的要那件玩具一样。
l 最痛苦的事，莫过于井底蛙终于跳到井口向外看一了眼，又掉了回去；最痛苦的事，莫过于井底蛙终于跳出了井，发现街上又是一个新的井。整个世界是个井套井。
l 你可以选择勇猛精进，也可以选择混吃等死。只要你不是茫然的勇猛精进，也不是茫然的混吃等死。只要这就是你选择的自己，这就是你选择的意义。
l 只此一遭，别无机会。扮美些，强大些，尝得更多，走到更远，爬起跌倒，结婚生子，在镜中注视自己苍老，好好活过，不辜负这一场。
Chuandixia Village
I’ve got an old friend visiting me last weekend. Since he has been to most of the “famous” places in Beijing, I thought I could take him to Chuandixia village, where I had always wanted to visit.
Chuandixia Village ( 爨底下), also know as Cuandixia, is a settlement dating from the Ming Dynasty located in Mentougou District in Beijing. It is a popular tourist attraction known for its well preserved courtyard homes.
We took subway to Pingguanyuan station and from there we took a private car (you can also take bus 929). Fortunately it was a very sunny day, and I was just happy to be out of town and enjoy the clear blue skies above and the peaceful environment around.
We arrived after about one and a half hour’s drive. It’s actually a very tiny village with about 70 traditional courtyards. It’s interesting that all these courtyards actually originate from one family about 500 years ago and they’re all inner-connected with each other. You can actually walk through it as all of them are open to the visitors.
Stone paved lanes and steep staircases help define Chuandixia’s architectural identity. It’s a frequent subject of photographers and painters.
The surrounding area of Chuandixia is full of mountains and trails popular with hikers. If you like a very low-key getaway, the village is ideal.
My Son’s Wedding!
Of course I know I am biased to tell you that this was the most beautiful, fairytale wedding I have ever seen. But it is true!
In 2006 we moved from Holland to Spain and this is where the happy couple met, so it was an international wedding. The bride and groom were a picture. The bride was wearing white with red embroided flowers on her dress and a long veil. The groom in black, shiny satin with a red waistcoat. A dream couple really! The surroundings were amazing! A garden with ponds, waterfalls and even a swimming pool. Palm and olive trees and exotic flowers that spread a wonderful fragrance in the air.
There were tables decorated with fruits and vegetables, all very colorful. The ceremony was done outside. A beautiful setting next to the water fountain with nice little orange chairs for the guests. The groom was accompanied by the bride’s twin sister and the bride by her sister’s husband. They exchanged and the wedding started. There were wonderful speeches, and an extremely funny one by my daughter about her brother. Everything was done in English and Spanish. The couple exchanged their own special wedding vows in the language of their partner. They gave each other the coin of happiness, which is a Spanish tradition, then the rings and in the end they were tied together with a red ribbon.
The diner was suburb and the party went on until the early daybreak. There were fireworks and a horse show. Children were taking care of by nannies. It was all extremely well arranged, nothing went wrong. It was the best wedding ever! Don’t know if I will ever attend another like this………..maybe my daughter!?
Happy Mom.
P.S. Photo courtesy of Phil. A profile of Phil, or Philie Van Der Linden, could be found here.
三十歲（转载）
妳很早就開始談戀愛，於是認為三十歲的時候，已經從原生家庭，走到了另一個家庭。妳從小就被誇獎聰明，什麼都得來容易，理所當然以為三十歲的妳，會更精明更有自信。妳不是乖巧的人，一直想在很遠的地方長大，認為三十歲已經，會很特別有不同的閱歷。
妳沒有把這些想法，當做對自己的期望，不過是想望而已。因為，妳不是有企圖心的人，自忖有什麼本事過什麼日子。以為三十歲就像很久以後的日曆，是遲早的事情，還不需要著急。
妳把該唸的書唸完，不再用學生證看電影。妳開始工作，第一次有挫折感。妳愛了幾個人，把他當成太陽，幾個街角之外，就看到對方。
有些事情是不如預期，可是就像時差一樣，調整之後就懂得怎麼自在呼吸。妳開始沾沾自喜，自己賺錢自己花，出國旅行只需要一張地圖。妳吃得出所謂的高級料理，週五下班後跳上計程車，到不同的地方認識別人的人生。妳以前好看是好看，但是不像現在一樣懂得打扮。
只是，妳仍然以為自己是小孩，不過是嘻嘻哈哈學大人的口氣，不過最重大的任務就是顧好自己。
一直到，有一天，妳發現和巨人一樣的爸媽，也開始老了，也開始跑醫院，的時候。妳已經有了四字頭的朋友，七年級的同事。妳認識了結婚又離婚的人，妳以為像妳的手指一樣不會放開妳的手掌的人，摔開妳了，以後。
妳三十歲了。可是。
妳遇到喜歡的人還是會緊張，還是會哭的很慘。妳心情好不好一樣掛在臉上，裝不出客套。妳樂起來的時候會失眠，一不小心就熬夜。妳上班的時候會在MSN開聊天室，在公車上忍不住回想今天發生的笑話。
怎麼就三十歲了呢？但是。
成分已經不一樣。妳還是相信愛情，但是不再相信每一個人。妳想要結婚，只是不再堅信那是幸福的憑證。妳不能沒有旅行，家還是妳最後的目的地。妳聽到一個人說喜歡妳，微笑了以後開心不起來，等著他的下一句：我還沒準備好；我忘不了前女友；妳很好，可是….
原來是，每一個時候，可能每一個人，都像剛拿到駕照，還不知道方向，就要上路。可能很多人都覺得自己像前段班的最後一名，會有插不上的話題。最重要的其實，從來不是妳夠不夠合群，有沒有符合原本的預期。而是即便妳那麼的叛逆，非要愛上別人叫妳不要愛的人，非要冒著比較多風險、過沒有人看好的人生。妳還是可以交代自己，說沒有人可以討好每個人，至少不管好不好，都是選擇之後的結果。
Xilin Gol, a Taste of Inner Mongolia
I was melting in Beijing. It was hot hot hot! So when Yawei asked me whether I’m into a weekend trip to Xilin Gol, I was super excited. Inner Mongolia is the other place I planned to visit this year besides Yunnan. Yet a weekend trip is definitely far from enough as it has much to offer.
From Wikipedia: Xilin Gol (Mongolian
: , Sili-yin ɣoul ayimaɣ, Chinese: 锡林郭勒盟) is one of 12 prefecture level divisions of Inner Mongolia. The capital is Xilinhot, the area is 202,580 km². The league’s economy is based on mining and agriculture. Xilin Gol borders Mongolia to the north, Chifeng, Tongliao and Hinggan League to the east, Ulanqab to the west and Hebei’s Chengde and Zhangjiakou cities to the south.
Grassland
Xilin Gol Grassland is one of the most beautiful grasslands in China. Jul to Aug is the best time to go there as the grass has grown fully. Once we got there, I was amazed at the scenery. It’s so different from anything else in China! There was just a vast expanse of rolling grasslands, with a blazing sun, beautiful sky, and comfortable breeze. It is very relaxing to sit on the grassland and enjoy the view that nature offers to us, and, forget about the crazy traffic jam and polluted air in Beijing for a while.
The place we were staying was comprised of yurts as rooms, which are dressed up a bit more like hotel rooms. After settling into our yurts, we went out to ride some horses! It isn’t too hard once you get the hang of it, at least with a horse trained to carry tourists around all day.
Wind Farm
Inner Mongolia is one of the fastest growing regions of wind power industry in China. There are many wind turbines around our yurts. Wind energy technology development capacity of the region is more than 150 million kilowatts, which is of about one third of the country’s total, ranking first in the country.
Dalai Nur Lake
“Nur” in Mongol means “Lake”. Dalai Nur means a lake that is as wide and beautiful as the ocean. Dailai Nur lake covers an area of 238 square kilometers. It’s the second largest freshwater lake in Inner Mongolia. It’s famous for beautiful swans. Though we didn’t see any swan the time we were there, we all thought that it’s a pretty lake.
It was really cold in the night in Inner Mongolia after the rain. Actually it was freezing! Luckily we got some yum BBQ with a taste of the famous Mongolian Baijiu (alcohol). The next morning, we got up, had breakfast, and got on the bus to head back to Beijing. It was a long drive, but it was a wonderful trip, and I am so glad that I got to experience this side of Inner Mongolia. Yet I wish next time I’d have enough time to explore more, such as the Gobi desert!
追女生的重點（转载）
One of my gfs insisted that I should post this article on my blog. Hmm, since I’m the owner of this blog, I think we can post something funny once in a while to entertain the readers. We promise that you will have a good laugh or probably keep nodding :)))
以下文章为转载：
我時常成為團體中唯一的女性，最常被哥們問到的問題，就是「到底要怎麼追女生」？
這類型的教戰技巧，很多人都談過。我說自己偏好的方式。
基本上，只要被追過幾次的女生，對於被追求的雷達都很敏感。就算你還沒開始約她出去，她也能很快就知道你對她有好感：你每天都在MSN跟她打招呼；你注意她的Facebook動態；你傳簡訊問她在幹嘛今天去哪裡吃飯。
這是很現實的問題。我們都老大不小了，已經沒有人會因為無聊，而花時間在另外一個人身上。
換言之，如果你遇到一個女生，她願意和你互動一往一來，那代表了她不排斥和你往來。女生很怕麻煩。她不喜歡你，會把你的一言一語當成廣告訊息，看到也裝沒看到。
小女生可能會耍跩，想要試探。但是稍微有點經驗的女生，會在意你的誠意。所以我的感想是，如果你跟一個女生已經聊了一個月，請你趕快約她出去。她欣賞你，沒空也會撥空。她對你沒意思，沒事待在家裡也會說要陪狗。
而且，只要你喜歡的是稍微有點姿色的女生，她們的自尊心通常都很強。你遲遲沒有行動，她會打消和你互動的念頭。生氣你如果對她沒有意思，就不要打擾她的生活。
至於實作的層次，再簡單不過，就是請你自然。拿你怎麼跟朋友往來的方式來對她，除了粗口和黃色笑話以外。讓女生覺得，你把她當成女生，而不是女神。問女生是非題，而不是申論題。
你想約她出去，就直接提議要不要去看電影？不要問女生這個週末有什麼計畫。難道我們要回答：老娘滿腦子都在等你約我？
你想跟她說話，就請打電話給她，不要傳簡訊問：「妳今天好嗎？」。我們又不是詐騙集團，哪來那麼多訊息好發。女生是愛講話的生物，和對方說話才會有安全感和習慣。
最後一點提醒是，女生喜歡直接的男生，不是白目的男生。她在MSN上，你就不要再問：「今天沒出去？」。不然呢？難道我媽在幫我上網嗎？她嫌自己胖，請不要回答她說你喜歡有肉的女生，標準答案永遠都是：「怎麼會？！妳對自己要求太高了。」
因為我每天晚上八點截稿，所以我最受不了的男生是七點打電話或傳訊過來問我：「在忙嗎？」。
不然呢？難道我在做愛嗎？
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